What to Expect On A Silent Meditation Retreat
I just got back from my first ever silent meditation retreat. Seven days in the jungle of Bali, meditating for 9 hours a day, without speaking to anyone.
It was bliss, and it was torture.
Bali Usada is a style of meditation developed by the Balinese healer, Pak Merta Ada. It combines three ancient traditions – focused concentration, body scanning, and loving kindness meditation – to achieve a sharp, harmonious mind, heal the body, and purify negative thoughts and reactions. With this style of meditation, people have cured everything from cancer, to high blood pressure, to depression. It’s astonishing. And the best way to delve into it is 7 days of silence.
Outside of Bali, vipassana retreats are becoming common, and have a similar model: 10 day residential retreats where you avoid all communication and delve deep inside yourself.
Most people have probably never gone a full day without using their vocal cords. And they certainly haven’t spent so many hours with no distraction from their thoughts – no cell phones, no computers, no reading, writing, speaking, smoking, or drinking. Just silence.
If you’re wondering why anyone would ever do this, think of it as training. Imagine how good you could get at anything if you were forced to do it for 10 hours undistracted every day for a week. The resulting feelings of calmness and focus are unparalleled by anything else I’ve done in my life.
Think you’re ready to take the plunge? Here’s what you can expect.
10 Things That Will Definitely Happen During Your Silent Meditation Retreat
- The pain will be excruciating
I don’t say this to scare you. It’s just a fact. The first few days are intense. I’ve been sitting for short meditations a few times a week for years. But if you try to run a marathon after only ever jogging around the block, it’s going to hurt. Eventually though, you find yourself growing more and more comfortable and less focused on physical sensation.
- You’ll wonder why everyone is so serious/angry
It turns out, resting meditation face is basically resting jerk face. We’re predisposed to think people with serious faces avoiding our eye contact are mean people. On the last full day of my retreat, when the silence was lifted, it wasn’t the talking that brightened the atmosphere, it was seeing everyone’s smiles for the first time.
- You’ll relish the lack of small talk
It is seriously a luxury to not have to think of something to say to the stranger at the dinner table across from you.
- You’ll think you’re in Zombieland
When everyone is walking with “mindfulness” (ie. slowly and carefully placing each step), looking at their feet, not speaking—at some point you’ll take a step back and observe, and you’ll feel like you’re on Shutter Island.
- You’ll start to eat really slowly
When you spend hours focusing on concentration and mindfulness, you realize how un-mindful your eating probably is. About two days into the course, I noticed my tendency to prepare the next bite on my fork before I’ve really tasted the one in my mouth. So I started putting my fork down in between each bite, and chewing for a disturbing length of time.
- Nature becomes really loud
Granted, my retreat was in the jungle, but bugs are loud! You don’t notice until you make yourself quiet.
- You’ll realize how repetitive your thoughts are
About once a day, every day, the thought crossed my mind that my husband might have gotten into a motorbike accident. About three times a day, I wondered what we’d be served for the next meal. And about 80 times a day I stressed about how many people I’d forgotten to tell that I’d be out of contact for a week.
- Your dreams will become vivid
After living alone in your head with just your ideas, unsurprisingly, your thoughts and visualizations get a lot sharper and more vivid, and this carries over into your sleep.
- You’ll feel like you’re spending time with an old friend
To sit with yourself in silence is such an incredible gift, because you truly get to know yourself again.
- You’ll feel an overwhelming sense of calm
The biggest benefit of the silent retreat was the sense of calm that was cultivated throughout week. The racing mind slowed down. The heart opened and relaxed. All was calm.
While the experience itself is eye-opening, you’ll be happy to go home. And integrating back into functioning, speaking society means you’ll feel the lasting benefits of your retreat even more intensely. Here’s what makes it all worthwhile.
5 After-Effects of Your Silent Meditation Retreat
- You’ll break your reliance on technology
When we got our phones back on the eve of the last day, a few students decided to wait until the very end to turn them back on, because the freedom from screens felt so sweet. After the retreat, I found I’d lost interest in most social media and started reaching for my phone far less.
- You’ll choose your words more carefully
The first yoga class I taught after I returned from the retreat was one of my best. I felt my absolute calmest and most attuned to the students. The words flowed through me from a place of understanding, not from the monkey mind.
- You’ll make more mindful food and health decisions
The last few days of the retreat, I fantasized about the beer I’d have with dinner my first night home. But when that night came, I had no interest. The cleansing food and cleansing thoughts I had consumed all week felt better than any sugar or alcohol rush ever could.
- You’ll be slower to anger
Spending so many hours focused on loving kindness makes your reactions veer in the direction of warmth. It’s a lasting effect.
- You’ll try, and fail, and try again to keep up a daily meditation practice
The first few days after the retreat, you’ll probably sit in meditation for an hour every morning. Then gradually, life will get in the way, and your enthusiasm will wane. But when you remember the amazing benefits you gained from your retreat, you’ll always return to your practice.